if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
(Note: Source Links in the Years)
- 2017: tumblr user thatsmoderatelyraven’s fluffy chicken makes a guest star appearance at the new president’s inauguration. “it’s been my life goal to meet you” says the president
- 2020: tumblr has tripled the amount of blogs registered. Every pun imaginable has been made, all photos of random things in rooms have been taken in HD format, all quotes have been said. There are no more recognizable url’s, even fahjtekysuleirdtyrzdsd and jiput4qwar8tgahwsf8g9bosdiv are taken. It is a dark time. The end is near.
- 2023: Arthur has just begun its 26th season
The new voice actor’s voice has become so squeaky that only Arthur fans’ dogs can hear him
- 2025: scientists are still scrambling to figure out what “zigazig ahh” is so that they can give the spice girls what they really really want
the spice girls are getting impatient
war is upon us
- 2053: a girl lays on her bed wearing vintage ugg boots. ‘I was born in the wrong generation’ she sighs as she listens to taylor swift and cries over a one direction poster.
- 2066: physical contact has been outlawed. hug dealers tenderly embrace people in the dead of night and shady people hold hands in dark streets
- 2068: Sam Winchester is 85 years old. He begins to suffer severe heart problems caused by being old as fuck. Dean gets in his motorized wheelchair and goes to the nearest crossroads at a speed of 3mph and trades his soul for Sam’s life. It is at this point that even the crossroads demons are beginning to worry about the Winchesters’ unhealthy codependency problems.
- 2088: there is only one tree left. the tree is cut down and used to make a newspaper with the headline No More Trees
- 2137: You open your tumblr profile, again after many years. You click on the message box. 1 message. You click on it.
‘Yes, same here! :)’
And you don’t know what it was referring to beacause you don’t have a fucking sent messages box.
- 3009: a group of humans listen to boom boom pow. when fergie says that she is so 3008 they all stand shocked and realise. fergie is now behind the times. fergie herself has become 2000 and late. this is unbelievable news to the humans. hours later the planet descends into war and chaos.
- 4000: 500 years after the last great war.
Humanity survives in small nomadic tribes.
One tribe has uncovered an ancient artifact from before the wars. They believe if they can solve its riddle, they may be able to unite humanity once more.
great. 2,000+ years into the future and still no Sherlock series 4
Let’s postpone our anger towards Justin Bieber and his saliva for a moment and bathe in the small pool of glory my city just created
I was hoping it would be his actual face.
That’s why it’s a small pool of glory
what exactly does sending a dick pic achieve??? like Wow thanks for the penis im gonna print this off and shove it up my ass
"Mother, where did you go?"
As I whisper in the vacant aisle of the store.
I will miss those little houses
i was babysitting a little boy and girl once and the boy asked me if i had a boyfriend and i said “no!! but i have a girlfriend!” and he said “like a friend thats a girl?” and i said “no like a boyfriend but they’re a girl instead of a boy! we still do couple things but we’re just both girls” and he said, without missing a beat, “oh ok! are you gonna marry her?”
like it’s literally that easy for kids to understand
Children > Adults
"Disabled Mannequins Remind Us: Beautiful Doesn’t Mean Perfect"